Shadowhuntress: The Mirror of Depth
by Stephanie Mateo
Summary: I'm a shadowhunter, but I'm also a Child of the moon and the night, if anyone ever found out I'd be killed and my mother would be put to shame. But now the Faeire queen is after me and she's going to tell everyone.
1. prologue

Prologue

The streets around these parts are never this quiet, living in New York for so long your use to the screeching of cars and the honks of angry mundanes because someone just stole their parking spot. Right now all I could hear was the drip drop of the gutters and my own breathing. I was well trained enough to sneak up on people unaware, but right now I felt like every breath was worse than a gunshot. It's expected when you're following the two most sensitive hearing downworlders. The werewolf and vampire had been chasing each other down for a couple of minutes now, but the vampire, Nightshade I think that's what his name was, decided to go into an alley hoping to corner the lustful were.

I hated this part of the job I felt like a babysitter trying to always keep these half-human, half whatever the hell you were from killing each other without probable cause of course. I'd called for my brother and my other team members, Alyssa and Jace awhile back but they still haven't showed up and the fight was getting out of hand if I didn't intervene soon we could have a war start. I gripped my silver kindjal made especially to paralyze werewolves if hit in the right place, he was closest so that would be my best bet. I shot straight for him praying to the Angel Raziel that my team wasn't to far behind.

I had about two minute window of surprise but the vampire saw me and that alerted the were, thankfully I had applied a rune of quick decision and was able to sail over his incoming fist and land the blade in his shoulder blade. "Now are you going to settle this like The Code demands or am I going to have to take you in" The Code was created by the first Council of Shadowhunters, it dictates all dealings with downworlders, which include Vampires, Werewolves, The Fey and Warlocks. "This has nothing to do with you Nephilim now get gone before we decide to get rid of a common enemy" the vamp snarled at me baring his fangs. I released a vial of Holy water onto him and as his skin seared he howled in pain. I smirked at him and turned towards the were who had been unusually quiet. "Why can't you be more like-" I was cut off by a 200lb werewolf jumping on me, I didn't have time to react so I used my forearm to shield my face as he closed his mouth over it. I gritted my teeth in pain, the armor took most of the damage but the real pain were his claws digging into my collarbones. I started seeing grey when the vampire stopped howling and was screaming at the were "If you let me kill her I'll forget about or disagreement earlier."

He couldn't talk in werewolf form but he seemed to be in agreement this was my only moment so I was about to kick him in the stomach with a pusher blade I had hidden in my boot but before I could make my move he yelped and blood pooled from his mouth. I shoved him off with a groan and saw Chris standing over me eyes wild with worry. "Are you alright?" He asked frantically, I kicked off into a standing position almost fainting back down and my shoulders were screaming in agony. Alyssa and Jace were circling the vampire but his eyes were completely focused on me. "How nice of you guys to finally show up" I said not to kindly, I grabbed another vial of holy water and threw it at the vamp he fell to the ground clutching his face. I grabbed him by the shirt and pressed him against the concrete with a stake pressing against his chest "It's not healthy to hold a grudge when will the Children of the Night and the Moon start getting along?" he laughed menacingly, while his face released smoke "You will have to tell me how that works out for you" I didn't realize what he was doing till it happened "Lily!" Jace cried but it was too late the vamp had cut himself and his blood had been slipping into the werewolf wound and then he was biting me. I felt a sharp pain then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I woke up panting and drenched in sweat. I always had nightmares, ever since the incident that changed my life. This time it was different I was running on all four through the woods, I was hunting but I wasn't hunting after an animal, it was Jace this time. Pale light shone through my windows and I shielded my eyes, it didn't burn me but it still bothered my eyes I always felt weaker during the day. Ever since I turned almost a year ago my life had only become that much more complicated. I didn't even think it was possible, how could I be both werewolf and vampire its almost impossible and on top of that I could withstand the runes. After all this time you'd think I'd be use to it but I'm not I could never be. Shadowhunting is my life and now I feel like my life is a lie.

My stomach ached, I had this hollow feeling as if my insides had been emptied it out but I know it's because I haven't had any blood in weeks. Unlike normal vampires I didn't have to be constantly drinking it, I could eat regular food but too long without it as I learned the hard way I would start getting sick and I even puked up blood for hours till I had to drink, animal of course.

"Lily!" Chris banged on my door; "Hurry up we've gotta go" I looked at the time not realizing how late it was. I was still underage so I had to attend The Academy for Young Nephelim, where they trained us to be warriors. I shucked off my sheets and looked at myself in the mirror my black hair matted to my forehead with sweat and my grey eyes were dark from the dream and probably from the hunger. I ran for a quick shower and changed into jeans a camisole and my boots.

Downstairs my dad was at the table nibbling on toast his brown hair rumpled and glasses hanging on his nose, I kissed him and grabbed an apple, my stomach had stopped aching so I decided to skip the blood for another day.

"Have a good day Bella" my father was Italian, but he was also human.

My mother had been rebellious, Shadowhunters weren't allowed to marry humans but the laws have changed and they were in love she didn't care. I only see my father now, mainly because my mother is one of the best of the best she was always called away, sometimes I think she stays away on purpose.

My condition is a secret only my family and Jace and Alyssa know, if The Council were to find out I would probably be killed and my mother would be disgraced. Our people are not good with change it took centuries for them to change their laws and to create an alliance with Downworlders known as The Accords. If they knew about me they'd consider me an abomination. I was just glad that I could still receive runes, marks that gave Shadowhunters their ability, without those I would have been discovered. They burn more than usual for me; the very powerful ones sear my skin.

I am not so different though since the change, my heart still beats, but I have fangs that I can hide and I have to live off blood and every full moon I turn. There's a full moon tomorrow night.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My nightmare had still been replaying itself in my head when we got to the academy, so I decided to plug in my plug in my headphones before class to clear my head. I had my hoodie up but even with my side view blocked I still felt a figure approaching. I turned swiftly and grabbed hold of a whit muscular hand. I looked up at a startled Jace. My heart skipped a beat and I dropped his hand. For a second I was at a loss for words his gold hair was damp and curled at the edges and his blue eyes were at it's lightest. He smelled like aftershave and the sun. I'd always noticed him since we first met but last year with my senses heightened I noticed so much more about him.

Lily? Hey are you there?" he spoke softly and touched my face with his fingertips.

I pulled out my headphones

"What did you say?" he smiled which crinkled his eyes making him seem young, but Jace didn't look it he was six feet of broad shoulders and slender hips.

"I said did you sleep well?" Jace was never this worried he's always had a superior demeanor but something had changed between us "Yes just fine."

The Academy was mostly about training and fighting but we also had classroom time, where we learned the history of Shadowhunters but also about our greatest enemies, demons. I guess it was kind of like high school there was always those people who provoked others. There were always high expectations from me because of who my mother was and I always lived up to them, I had no other choice. Some people did not like me for it though. Alyssa sat next to me and Jace and Chris were not to far behind we always stuck together more out of habit than anything else.

I don't excel at the classroom part of training that was more Alyssa's department. Mr. Varner had been going on about dragonaides, which are practically extinct demons. I couldn't concentrate I could hear the pumping of hearts in my ears and my mouth was so dry, but I could feel the sweat starting to come from my forehead, "Where's their weak spot? Lily?!" I looked up knocking over my book, which was followed by a giggle.

"The neck" answered Sam

"I hope you're not this lost during a mission you might end up losing your neck" she gave me an evil look showing me she enjoyed my humiliation

"Would you like me to properly demonstrate how to slay a dragonaide you practically look like one" her face took on one of rage and she would've leaped from her desk at me if Mr. Varner hadn't cut off her retort.

The thing is I barely remember what she said all I could stare at was how delicious the vein in her neck looked. Chris slammed his hand on my desk and gave me a panicked look

"YOUR FANGS!" he hissed, I hadn't even realized Id let them out, thankfully nobody else had either. I griped my lips shut till the end of class and stared straight ahead.

I was always grateful for combat training, they taught us several forms f fighting with all types of weapons. Today we were doing fencing. I changed into my training clothes, which today were shorts and a tank top.

As I left the locker room Chris scolded me "You're not suppose to wear shirts like that"

I looked at myself in the mirror surrounding the training room and touched the scars on my shoulders, three on each one, I had a slim muscular build and I'm not very tall, but the scars were wide and gleamed a pinkish white in the harsh fluorescents.

"It's fine people think it was just a shifter."

Unfortunately the healing rune didn't work to get rid of them all. I caught Jace staring at me from a couple feet away and I turned towards the instructor.

"Alright I need two volunteers" He looked around "Lily and Kent" I jumped down to the mats and grabbed a sword, we never fought with padding because there wouldn't be any in a real fight. We squared off and I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins already, so I took a deep breath and charged him. It's been difficult to fight in front of everyone I never did it anymore because I was afraid they would notice I was unusually faster and stronger than everyone else. So I just had to work that much harder. We grappled, sword hitting sword on all turns, sweat was dripping down his temples and his breathing was becoming ragged while I could've continued for ages. I grabbed several openings I hit his arms and chest and he managed about two on mine before I disarmed him by snapping at his wrist. I kicked him straight in the chest and he fell back with a thump.

Everyone stood and applauded and I offered him my hand "Good job" I complimented "Yeah right you kicked my ass" he grinned like an excited puppy. I puled out my stele and gave him an iratze, the healing rune, as customary when practicing with anyone. I was going to leave to shower when he grabbed my wrist "Don't you need one?" "No No I'm fine thank you though" I faked a smile and turned to leave but he held firm " Can I buy you lunch instead?" I hadn't faced him but groaned inwardly, I didn't date, not anyone, mainly on principle. He felt my hesitation "Please its just lunch I promise" I shrugged and he took that as a good enough and released my wrist.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jace's POV

Going over to my seat, I caught Lily coming out of the locker room, I don't know what it is about her, I've never had these feelings toward her. Being in a team together for over a year you'd expect a level of respect and admiration but it's much more than that for. I keep catching myself stealing glances at this girl who reminds me of a fallen angel. She was staring at her scars again; she has this nervous tick where she sometimes touches them lightly like she feels the ghost of the pain.

Every time I think of that night I get so fucking angry, she was alone and we were too late, I was too late. Now her life was a constant struggle, I'm not disgusted by what she is now, but I can tell she is.

She went down to fight, next to me Chris tensed up. If she ever slipped, we would have a serious problem on our hands. All her movements were perfect and controlled I think I was the only who noticed they way she gritted her teeth when she was concentrating. After I saw Kent grab her wrist, I headed towards them when he clearly wasn't letting go. I heard what he said:

"Can I take you to lunch?" I almost burst out laughing. She never goes out with any guy. It's funny because I bet she doesn't even have a clue about how most all the guys lust over her, I bet they don't know how much I want to bang their heads against a locker whenever they talk about her.

I was walking away grinning to myself when I saw that she actually said yes. Does she actually like him? How many times could they have talked in their lives, like three times? This guy was a pussy on a regular basis it's probably out of pity. I stormed off thinking about how unusually glittery her eyes looked almost silver.

…

I convinced Kent that we should just eat in the cafeteria, we always had the choice of leaving but at least here I had a quick getaway if things got weird as they usually did when I was around a guy. Walking into the cafeteria a wafting smell of fried food bombarded my nose along with the loud murmurs of 100 some students.

A couple tables away I caught Alyssa's eye, she gave me a playfully evil smile and continued talking to her boyfriend, she was sitting with Jace and Chris as usual. I caught the jealous whispers from several guys I could even smell it.

Kent was going on bout his family, they were pretty wealthy, "My father is really the only on I'm really close to after my mom left we sort of bonded." I looked at him for the first time really. His hair was brown and cropped short and he had angular bone structure. His eyes caught my attention they were also brown but they reminded me of a valley and they were staring right at me.

"I guess we have that in common then" I smiled but it didn't reach my eyes. I was gripped with an almost ripping pain in my stomach and I keeled over retching air. My ears started ringing and sweat dripped down my face. I heard chairs screech which only made my headache a splitting one.

Kent kneeled next to me "Lily?! What's wrong?" he said panicked. I glanced up and immediately regretted it, I caught a glimpse at the pulsing vein in his throat and my mouth went dry. Shit. I looked up towards where my team sat at caught Jace's eye, he was the only on who noticed. He immediately raced over with Alyssa and Chris at his heels. I could hear the hearts of all the students and blood pulsed in my ears.

"We've got it from here back off" Jace told Kent harshly shoving him. "Hey man watch it I was just helping"

"She doesn't need your help!"

"Enough look at her, she needs to get out of here" Chris hissed out and grabbed me by the elbows. I could smell metal and his cologne, but mostly his blood I could almost see it flowing through his veins. I shoved him back and ran out heading toward the empty hall. I caught at a trashcan and puked up blood. I slid to the cold marble ground and held my breath.

"Hey" Jace said gently, placing his hand on my shoulders. I could see my eyes in his they were silvery and bloodshot.

"I need blood Jace now!" I looked up and Chris and Alyssa were there.

"Where are we suppose to get some?" she cried. Alyssa was the planner she thought everything up rationally and didn't like surprises after all she was the one who made my blood schedule even had it delivered to me so I wouldn't run out.

"Lils did you skip? You didn't drink yesterday did you!" she was pacing back and forth in anger.

"That's not going to help anyone Alyssa, stand still your making me nervous" Chris shouted exasperated. I was starting to see red and the pain in my stomach was unbearable and threw up again.

"Goddammit we have to do something!" Jace said exasperated. Then there was a wrist in front of me I didn't register who's it was, the blood pulsed and I grabbed it. I sucked in and there was an explosion of sweet salty liquid, I could feel it replenishing me I closed in my eyes and groaned in pleasure.

I don't know how much time had gone by but I felt resistance and the wrist was fighting against me so I tightened my grip "Lily stop please I'm getting dizzy." Behind the haze I realized where I was and sprang up and away, Jace had been the one to give me his blood, he looked pale but got up with ease and rubbed his wrist.

"Why..Why would you let me do that I could've killed you?" I stammered. He smiled weakly at me "No you wouldn't have" I grabbed his wrist and pulled out my stele, I marked him with a healing rune and a rune that replenished blood.

"See I'm all better." I kissed him on the cheek almost without realizing. "Thank you"

Chris grabbed me "Don't you ever do that again Lily, that was too fucking close" I snatched my arm away with a growl. "Back off okay I said I was sorry you don't know what it's fucking like I hate drinking blood its disgusting I feel like a moster."

"You seemed to have been enjoying it quite a bit when it was coming from Jace" I grabbed him from the neck and slammed him against the wall his feet were off the ground. "Shut up you don't know anything the paralyzing pain and the loss of control you will never know!" I growled at him my teeth bared.

"Lily enough" Jace and Alyssa were at my shoulders pulling me back. The red haze had surrounded me again and as it vanished I saw the look on my brothers face. A Shadowhunter who fought demons and Downworlders and here he was staring at his sister with fear. I let go backing away, shaking my head in disbelief and left school hoping no one followed.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I wiped the tears that I allowed to escape frustratingly and slammed the door shut of my Infiniti; Chris will just have to catch a ride home. It's a good thing my dad was at work I would break down if I saw him; he always worked till late at the hospital but always managed to wake up early to have breakfast with me. I headed toward the training room and grabbed a side strap with several pockets holding kindjal blades of several sizes.

I took a deep breath and held the knife in my hand. I felt the cool metal on my damp hands and watched as the training room enclosed itself around me, and all that mattered was me and the energy I needed to release. The training room at our house was built underground resembling a parking garage, it was lined with concrete and metal floors and the room was scattered with several targets. I spun and shot the knives in quick succession one by one aiming for different targets. I reached the end of the room and I'd hit all my marks, there was one knife and one target but this one was about 15 feet away, across the room.

I liked testing my new abilities they surprised me all the time, I could jump off buildings almost 10 feet high and not have a single injury. My sense of smell was exceptional; I could smell fear and anger. I could hear the silent gliding of the night children. Now I trained my eye and I focused on the target and just as easily as if it were a mere 2 feet from me I shot the knife and hit dead center.

With a smirk I walked through the room collecting all the knives. I turned my back to grab one on a higher ledge I felt the breeze of the door opening and then the familiar whoosh of a knife slicing through air I caught it tip a few inches from my face.

Shocked and pissed off I was about to attack my assailant then I saw it was just my mother. Why couldn't it have been a demon?

She strode towards me leather clad in shadowhunter gear, she clearly just got back from a mission. Her black hair, cut short was rumpled from the trip and her eyes were steel grey. She was small figured like me but she could make anyone feel small.

"Hello Lillian, I see your training" she said as if that was the most absurd thing.

"Hello mother how was your trip to Idris?" Idris is the homeland of the shadowhunters. "Absolutely beautiful such a shame you'll never be able to see it yourself." That stung, I turned away rebelliously and grabbed another knife, putting it away.

"Look at me when I speak to you Lillian I taught you better than that, or has that demon blood finally corrupted your soul?" I spun around in shock and she was right in front of me, we were t eye level, and hers were cruel but she smelled of sadness.

"I'm not corrupted my Shadowhunter blood is still dominant somehow, I won't lose control" She caressed my face and pushed back a strand of hair that escaped my bun. "I know sweetheart you have so much to live for after all, I don't know why you waste your time training so you can have an even bigger advantage?" She started pacing around me and all could do was stare down at the ground my teeth clenched.

"The Angel knows how hard I worked to get where I've gotten and all of it is just as easy as breathing you don't deserve the awe that follows you." She stopped and looked at me pleading in her voice now,

"Do not call any attention to yourself more than you already do our family has to keep it's reputation but you won't be the one to keep it, your brother will so don't overshadow him become a shadow stay in the back where you belong and then we might be able to survive."

"Yes mother." We'd done this already when she first found out, she took a knife to my heart and was about to kill me herself, I was an abomination. I cried that night for so long because I was my mothers dream when I was born and now I was only a nightmare. The door slammed shut and the bang seemed to echo in my chest and fell to knees and banged on the steel floors for hours.

The vibration of my cellphone got me out of my rage and I stared down at my bloodied hands but there was no wound because it closed up seconds after they opened. I snapped the phone open "What?" "Lily?" Alyssa said a little panicked. I calmed my breath "Yes Lyssa what's up?"

"Are you okay?" "Yes wonderful are you, you sound off?"

"NO, I'm really not I just found out Felix was messing around with someone else, well I caught them and I kind of knocked them both out.." she said remorsefully. I held back the urge to laugh "It's not like I saw us getting married or anything but I don't do the whole sharing thing."

"I get it, it was part of your plan. Hey if you want we could go do something tonight, get your mind off it. I need it too my mothers home" "Oh, shit yeah definitely its already 9 so see you in an hour?"

"9!" how long had I been down here? "Alright see ya."


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Alyssa had a convertible and the night was windy, we cruised at a steady pace of 80 miles an hour I felt almost invisible. There was a bonfire tonight, hosted by none other than Nephilim, some mundanes snuck in but they never noticed anything and we ignored them. I got out assessing my windblown hair in the car window, my hair was now voluminous and my cheeks were windblown. I didn't feel cold anymore, but most people would think I was crazy for wearing something so revealing. I changed into a black sheath dress that fit to my curves along with fishnet stockings and my signature books to Alyssa protests.

We walked in almost drawing all the eyes in the crowd but they just made me uncomfortable especially after what my mom said. Chris was here, not surprisingly he caught sight of us and flagged us down.

"I'll go grab us a drink" I commented and walked towards the keg. The moon was big and bright but not completely full, but it still made my skin itch and I looked away reflectively. As I was pumping beer into two red cups I heard footsteps of someone heading my way and I smelled the familiar scent of sun and mint. He brushed my exposed back with his fingers.

"Hey" I turned around nearly spilling my drink. His smell took over my senses so much I filled the cups till they overflowed.

"Drunk already? Didn't I just see you pull up?" he smirked in a smart ass way and his eyes glittered with amusement. I punched him in the shoulder "You know it takes something a lot stronger than beer to get me going" I winked at him.

"I do actually, are one of those for me? Or are you just really thirsty?" I nudged him with my hip "Get your own this one's for Alyssa" I said sashaying away.

When I finally reached Alyssa she was among the other Nephil crowding around Chris as he wrestled with someone who's name I didn't know. I handed Alyssa her drink and she nodded me a thanks. She seemed to be really interested in what was going on. I was leaving to let Chris have his moment when an obnoxious friend of his Ben saw me. "Hey Lily! Why don't you give us a round, I bet you can take your brother."

"No I'm good" I said kind of panicked. Chris looked over at me as had everyone else, with a look of someone who wasn't surprised and I smelled frustration rolling off him.

"Come on don't be like that" he grabbed my wristed and threw me over his shoulder, I immediately flipped putting my arm in an uncomfortable position but ignored it and slammed a 190lb Ben to the ground making him eat dirt "Don't ever grab me like that again." It was eerily quiet and I was pissed cause he made me drop my drink.

I parted through the crowd smelling fear and jealousy on my way out and just shook my head. So much for staying in the shadows. I sat near the fire and watched the embers jump out and evaporate when it hit the ground. It was a dark night we were far from the city and it was late at night. Music was humming the atmosphere from someone's car and various groups were being loud and obnoxious due to intoxication.

Jace silently sat next to me disturbing the packed earth and handed me a cold beer. I signed gratefully even though it tasted horrible. I placed my head without thinking about it on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. I suddenly felt a wave of calm and safety wash over me.

"Why are you over here by yourself" I only shrugged I didn't want him to know more then he had to about my fucked up life. "Nice weather we're having huh?" I giggled and he rubbed my shoulder as the wind blew at us.

"You don't have to do that you know I don't get cold anymore" he dropped his arm awkwardly on my side "Sorry" he mumbled in his cup. "Don't be" I knocked mine back and felt the iciness travel through me and the sensation was over as soon as it came.

"How are you doing? I know what happened at school today freaked you but it's okay it's just something you have to get use to."

I straightened up and faced him "How Jace? It's been over a year and I'm still not use to it I'll never be, my mom just started talking to me none to kindly if I might add. Things will never be ok. I look away fiercely, staring up at the sky where the stars gleamed. He turned my face and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

"It's going to be fine. Angel this is not your fault it's the dangers of duty. Only you were strong enough that your soul fought to be what it truly wants to be a shadowhunter. You will make it through this and you'll make it on top I have a feeling you could change the way things are."

I was shocked into silence, his eyes looked the same blue as the stars above and he spoke with such strong belief. "I'm no Angel" I moved his hand that had lingered on my face and placed it on my lap. It felt like we were in our own little bubble I didn't know anybody else was there and it was very quiet with only the crackling of the fire.

"When I look at you that's what I see, sometimes you look like a fallen Angel because of the sadness in your eyes but like now you look like a normal Angel glowing with beauty no wonder all the girls envy you." At first it seemed odd that such kind words were coming from such a big guy Jace was almost 6 feet in height and was all muscle. He walks around with a closed off demeanor, I never knew he was capable of this.

I caressed his face and he held the back of my head and kissed me with ever so gently. His lips were sweet and salty from the beer. But they were soft and welcoming and soon I sunk deeper and deeper into the kiss that it felt as if we'd blended into one. But the howling of a wolf in the far distance shattered the bubble and I sprung up from his lap, I don't really know how I ended up there. My ears pricked with curiosity but other than a few other pauses from the large crowd of hunters I seemed to be the only one who noticed.

"Lily are you alright?" I nodded roughly "I'm fine really." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry I have to go"

"Wait where are you going? Do you need a ride?" "I came with Alyssa I should find her" One look around told me that wasn't an option she was being nibbled on my a dark head and her body told me she wouldn't want to leave anytime soon.

"I think I'll walk I'm not feeling well." My skin was hot and itchy and my smell was taking up ever inch of my surroundings and it was overwhelming.

"Walk but your house is miles from here." He grabbed my wrist "Did I do something?" I paused for a second and took a breath trying to stifle my urges and approached him "You were perfect" I kissed him lightly and he released my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow okay" I smiled walking away. "Goodnight Angel."

After reaching the cover of trees and sprinted off and ran into the night.


End file.
